eragon and the stupid dragon
by chicken salad
Summary: what would happen if eragon kept talking to himself saphira had no brains and galbatorix's brains were inside zarroc...err just read the fic... by the way ive given the wrong title inside its crazy story not story with no title...happy reading: plz commen


_**the story with no title**_

_**PART1**_

_**CHAPTER 1**_

_**it all begins in algaesia...**_

eragon to his extremely stupid dragon: come on saphira lets play some fetch.(takes out a stick)

saphira starts jumping around

saphira:yay bob play stick with me du duh yay

eragon: my name is eragon you twit, er-a-gon comprende

saphira:you have nice breath bob

eragon:saphira your hopeless I should call you kakaloooki!

well it wasnt saphiras fault that galbatorix had blown the brains out of saphira. infact galbatorix's brain some how ended up in zarroc and eragon began talking to himself.

Galbatorix :(in zarroc) hah when I used to play with shruiken we used to throw dead bodies instead of sticks, good guys these days, as soft as a marshmallow.

eragon: I knew we should have had dumped him

eragon: I know I wanted to too but zarr.. I mean galbatorix is my only sword

eragon: so brom could have given you another one.

eragon :but brom died(eragon starts crying)

galbatorix: there we go again always about brom.

saphira:duh stick..?

galbatorix:saphira could you do the honors I dont have hands

saphira whacks eragon on the head

eragon:oh yeah ...saphira fetch

eragon throws the stick far far away

saphira flies after it.

galbatorix:hah my grand mother could throw better than that by the way why is saphira taking so long shruiken never took that long

eragon grabs galbatorix and sticks his blade into mud

galbatorix:oh man ..I am sorry now please get me out of here, you know I hate getting stuck please im sorry, aww I've got mud all over my shiny self

eragon: should I ?

eragon:no way lets leave him

eragon: naa,hes my only sword

eragon :brom will give you another one

eragon:but broms dead (starts crying)

galbatorix: what the heck, get me out of here, great here we go again

meanwhile saphira comes back holding a tree trunk.

galbatorix: saphira please...

saphira whacks eragon on the head real hard

eragon: huh oh yeah(takes galbatorix out)

galbatorix: hah I knew you had a weak spot no wonder your not evil.

eragon puts down galbatorix

eragon:saphira wee time

saphira raises its hind leg over galbatorix

galbatorix: oh no mercy I'll do any thing not the wee!

eragon: let him go for now...

so this was daily life of the trio a dumb dragon, a talking sword and a retard...

_**chapter 2**_

eragon is sleeping with his dorky cousin roran. In the middle of the night saphira nudges eragon

eragon:what is it? I've told you a million times if you wanna wee rorans bed poo uncle garrows bed.

saphira keeps nudging

saphira: big thingy look!

saphira grabs eragon and starts flying, eragon quickly grabs galbatorix as saphira fly's through the ceiling.

galbatorix:huh...wha what the heck is going in?

eragon:oh look saphira, you broke the roof what am I gonna tell uncle garrow

galbatorix: er..that some ninja monkeys did it

eragon: no ive already used that excuse when saphira blew off the toilet

galbatorix: some magical elves did it

eragon:no ive used that one when saphira ordered 17 extra large pizzas

galbatorix:a meteorite

eragon:used it when saphira blew off the toilet for the second time

galbatorix: err...im out of excuses

eragon:(sigh) I'll be grounded like last time

eragon:by the way saphira where you taking us?

eragon:maybe shes taking us to visit brom!

eragn:but broms dead waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

galbatorix: once again oh well, saphira please

saphira whacks her tail at eragons head

eragon:uh oh yeah

saphira suddenly lands and says: look big thingy in here

eragon and galbatorix look up to a huge space pod .It opens and a gigantic black thing wearing a jacket and a bandana comes.He looks down.

thingy: I am taaku master of teleportation hahahahahah...er..(takes out a card from his pocket)...all u..you...er...ah..all you humans I am taaku master...

galbatorix: youve already said that you looser, geez!

taakku takes opens his jacket full of labeled pockets on the inside .takes out a card from a pocket labeled interruptions

taaku: you dare d..de..defy the great taaku, brackets open continue what you were saying brackets closed...oh I get it .takes out another card. I am the great taaku yada yada yada I can teleport from one place to another, brackets open show off your powers, brackets closed...oh I get it...er..(teleports some where and comes back again)

...now I bet you are tr.. trembl..trembling in your knees before I continue any quest..questions?

eragon: I know a guy called aaku who is shape shifter and master of time no offense but any relations with him?

Taaku takes a card out labeled relations

taaku: I have one bother...brother aaku who wrote all my mini notes he is ul..ult..ultra kewl...ultra cool and I am a loosor...looser and a wuss..was..wussy (taaku suddenly realizes what he's saying)douh I knew I should not have made him write this, gullible me.

eragon and galbatorix laugh

Taaku: that tears it you're going down.

Taakus hand suddenly gets surrounded by fire

saphira: ooh shiny light!

and saphira flys towards it

eragon: noooooooo

galbatorix: too late

saphira crashes into taakus hand saphira eragon and galbatorix fall down.

eragon:help

galbatorix I dont wanna die! shruiken would had been much more useful than stupid saphira

eragon:it will be good if you die, no more talking swords

eragon: yea then brom will give me a new one

eragon: but broms dead waaaaaaaaa

galbatorix: look we're falling to our doom with the only hope that somehow the stupid dragon will remember to save us and the only thing you can think of is brom!!!

eragon: im gonna die waaaaaaaaaaaa, no wait I'll meet brom in heaven yay death here I come :)

mean while saphira finds out they are falling.

saphira: oh no bob is gonna die

eragon :eragon my name is eragon and dont you dare catch me I wanna die!! I wonder if brom would look the same.

saphira: duh bob forgot his own name dont worry

saphira catches them both

taaku: have you forgotten me ?

taaku opens a hole out of thin air and flings the trio in to it ...

and they land somewhere else...

_**chapter 3**_

The trios (for saphira, galbatorix and eragon takes too long to type) end up some where weird

eragon:brom where are you? is this heaven ? what's that written on that sign board

galbatorix: er… welcome to...er...dorksville?

saphira:duh

a person passes by with huge dorky glasses

eragon:hey you with the strange glasses

eragon:no there not weird they're wacky

eragon:how about dorky

eragon: ask brom

eragon: but broms dead waaaaaaaaaaaaa

person:er why are you talking to your self

galbatorix:beats maybe hes just a retard, saphira please

saphira whacks eragon on the head

person:hey look you the sword can talk

galbatorix:never seen a talking sword before?

person: er...

eragon: forget him where are we

person: you are in the 11th dimension called dorksville

eragon: what the

galbatorix:wha..

saphira:duh..

person: well there are 50 dimensions and the dark fiend taaku terrorizes them all

eragon: yea about that aren't we in heaven? ...that means broms still dead waaaaaaaaa

galbatorix:ignore him he's an idiot we want to know a way to get to our dimension thingy

person: I dont know but our lord shall know

half an hour later they are standing in front of huge thrown and from behind comes the shortest person you can imagine with the dorkiest glasses followed by another shorty whose totally green

short person: I am dexter boy genius king of the geeks and this my apprentice yoda

yoda:!#$$&&#(translation: im the green hot talkin yoda with and dexter here is my apprentice)

dexter: yea about him no one understands him

yoda:!#$$": (translation:some how I never understand my apprentice because hes dumb)

dexter: but hes pretty nice

yoda: $$#$$$#!!$$$(dexter is the geekiest person and his breath stinks of math) yoda starts laughing

dexter:he laughs for no reason too, taaku some how teleported him here

yoda:!$$(translation:dexter is total dork)

eragon: yea we have come here to talk to you that do you have any teleportation device

dexter: indeed but it is un tested

galbatorix: who cares we wanna get out of dorksville I bet shruiken would have just flown out of here

eragon: shut up

dexter takes the trio to a huge closet

dexter: get in and you will be transported to your destination

the trio get in

yoda:!#$$#$$(can i go too i really want to kick taakus butt even if it may be thirty feet above the the ground)

dexter yes yoda, ill give you cookies later...now...1...2...3 and teleport

a light surround the trio yoda jumps in as well

dexter: oh oh wrong dimension entered... this can not be good by 100

yoda:!#&$$$$$( see ya you loser geeeks too bad you could not master the force and by the way dexter your a total geek)starts laughing

and the trio along with yoda are transported to some where else...in a place full of trees ..

galbatorix:where are we?

and suddenly a blue troll comes behind them with a long beard, white war paint and tusks

troll: I see ya man...

_**chapter4**_

galbatorix:who the heck are you some kind of evil space monster

troll: I am da shadow shaman rhasta

eragon:what kind accent is that

eragon: I think its german

eragon: no australian

eragon:no way it has to be british

eragon: I bet brom would know

eragon: but broms dead waaaaaaaaaaaaa

galbatorix: saphira

saphira whacks eragon on the head

galbatorix: my favorite part of the day :P

rhasta:what do you mean what kind of accent is thees it a troll accent.

eragon: we need to find a way to teleport out of here do you know any

rhasta: I hear ya man I got the perfect thing fer you people

rhasta takes out a small dagger out of no where

rhasta:thees is kelens dagger of escape you can have it, just swing it through air and it will open a portal for teleportation but once you use it, its gonna take 2 hours to recharge unless you got batteries

galbatorix: okay thanks! by the way why do you call yourself the shadow shaman your blue not shadowy?

rhasta: sadly the name pink head spear driver was already taken

suddenly a huge horn is heard

rhasta: he scourge are on the move again I go(he runs away)

eragn:right lets do this thing

suddenly a person wearing a huge mask and a cloak comes with no feet (he levitates in air)

person:give me the dagger now

yoda:(laughs)$&#$(huh I bet you cant see a thing under that mask why dont you wear )glasses

person: you dare defy razor the lightning revenant

eragon: lighting what

eragon:i think he said lightning dork

eragon: or was it wussy vent

razor: I the revenant have never been so humiliated before

eragon: im sorry

razor: your pleas are futile I shall electrocute you now

galbatorix: what's up with the formal speech

razor: that does it you are now going to witness hot undead action too bad its gonna be used on you

eragon: why hot undead action why not mysterious

eragon:or electricity...ly

yoda:!#$$#(for you it should be dorky undead action)

saphira: duh hi bob wanna be friend

eragon: what?...and im eragon not bob

saphira: what ever you say bob

eragon: damn it!my name is bo...I mean eragon!!

saphira: yes bob I now call you bobgon

galbatorix: you mean popcorn

saphira: yay bobgon new name for bob

eragon:??????

razor: WILL YOU SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME

saphira: jojo dont look happy

eragon: whose jojo

saphira: you

eragon: me

saphira: no you bobgon he jojo

eragon:s

galbatorix: shruiken was always more better at making names like moron, looser, shortpants

yoda:#&&$#$$$( oh look the dork is suddenly becoming red and electric maybe he had a shock)

razor:you fools have angered me (suddenly gets surrounded by electricity)

eragon: quick saphira wee time

saphira wee's on razor

razor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I the lightning revenant is being liquefied NOOOO

yoda suddenly takes the dagger and makes a portal so the trio along with yoda jump in and the portal stays open for just enough time for razor the revenant to get in too...


End file.
